In no particular order:
1. Guy Fieri and his female clone Anne Burrell. As if one ridiculous, white blonde, spiky, gel-filled, Sonic the Hedgehog hair style wasn't enough for us all.
2. Alton Brown's horrible jokes. He was once the host of a dorky, science-filled show where he would tell you the best ways to make certain dishes and most importantly WHY. It was perfect for a chemistry major like me, who likes to tweak and create recipes (where it really helps to know the science behind a dish). NOW, as a host of Iron Chef America, he constantly tells completely unfunny jokes that are forced, plentiful and beyond corny. On top of it, Good Eats has become unbearable - completely over-the-top.
3. The Food Network's uncanny ability to find the least likeable people to host and judge their shows. See my last post for a little elaboration, to name a few: Sunny Anderson, Alexandra Guarnaschelli, Aaron Sanchez, Guy Fieri, Chris Cosentino, Melissa d'Arabian, Aida Mollenkamp, Anne Burrell, Cat Cora, Mario Batali, Clair Robinson, Ted Allen
4. The complete waste, which is Food Detectives with Ted Allen. I have only seen a few episodes (or really snippets of episodes because I couldn't bear to watch whole episodes.), but it is such a waste of time. Some of the myths they are busting are so stupid and not issues anyone really cares about. Is the 5 second rule true? Of course it's not - your food fell on the floor, so if your floor is dirty, so is the food that fell on it. Do you really need a food scientist to conduct a study and goofy Ted Allen to tell you the results? Here's another one - does celery really have negative calories? Of course not!!!
5. The firing and rehiring of Robert Irvine from Dinner Impossible
6. They way Kevin Brauch pronounces konbanwa ("good evening" in Japanese). He says Kon (pause) BEN (pause) Wa. Now I don't speak Japanese, but I know this is wrong. Ryan lived in Tokyo for years and certainly knows how to say things like good evening, so he is my source. Look at how it is spelled. There is no E. You would think that this guy could learn how to say the one Japanese word he has to say.
7. The completely useless addition of Clair Robinson as the host of Challenge
8. Chefs v. City. Aaron Sanchez and Chris Cosentino are just unbearable. They are so cocky, and I'm not sure what they have to be cocky about. The whole time they talk about how great they are. The set up is like an awful, boring version of Amazing Race. Dumb hosts. Dumb concept. It doesn't even really have that much to do with food.
9. The English dubbing of Morimoto on Iron Chef America even though he is speaking English. It's easy to understand what he is saying. He is speaking English!!! WHY!?!?! I love Morimoto. His restaurant in Philadelphia is my favorite restaurant. I have an autographed copy of his book. I want to hear what he has to say in his own voice. If they really think people can't understand his accent, wouldn't subtitles (captions really because it's English to English) be more appropriate?
10. The Crazy-Eyed women of Food Network. I learned all about crazy-eyed girls on How I Met Your Mother, and if I've learned anything from Swarley, it's to steer clear of this women. If I had more time and patience, I could find more pictures and better pictures, but if you watch these women, you know what I'm talking about. Sometimes they look possessed. They may look normal sometimes, but if you get a glimpse of the crazy eye, you should run.
Naz love your blog - re the food network and Chopped - do you think that Scott Conant and Amanada are brother and sister? They both have the same frown, eyebrows, eye color, nose - it is uncanny?
ReplyDeleteyou are hysterical! totally agree withe verything you say!!!!! LOLOLOL!
ReplyDeleteThanks for a good laugh. I found your blog while searching "Kevin Brauch Kon Ben Wa". I knew there were others annoyed by his bad pronunciation.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the bleach blonde twins comment. As soon as I saw Anne B I figured she must be Guys sister. They need some stylists on FN in a bad way !!! Ida is at the top of my make-over list. She lives in the Hamptons & owns 4 shirts ??? WTF ?? And her bangs also start perfect then flip & separate. Anne & Guy come in tied for #2. And will someone PLEASE tell Giada to quit showing every tooth in her mouth when she smiles??? Yikes !!!!!!!! : /
ReplyDeleteAnother visitor here who found you by searching for other people annoyed by the incorrect pronunciation of "kon ben wa". Thanks.
ReplyDeleteWhy have you watch so many shows if you hate Food network so much? Personally I find your comments to be petty, mean, and rude! Just because you don't like them or their chefs doesn't mean you have the right call them names and put them down. Maybe someday someone will give you a taste of your own medicine so you know it feels. In a world full of hatefullness and bullying you certainly traveled down that road. You could just as easily said why you didn't like the shows and not added in the personal attacks.
ReplyDeleteI agree with a lot of your sentiments. I HATE Alton. He acts like we’re in 4th grade. I think they should back Iron Cef but with some other host, maybe Ted Allen. Live Bobby Flay. Mr. Marimotot does in fact speak English quite well. No need for captions. Agree about he “blond” people. Both are terrible and Anne was rude in the extreme on Iron Chef once. This network could rival other chef-oriented shows if someone in charge would just pay attention. I mean what nut is making these terrible programming decisions? They should watch Top Chef! They could easily copy this idea, but they would probably put Alton as the host. He is probably a nice guy, just not host mastery. He seems to like teaching, so he would maybe be entertaining to a seven-year- old kid who wants to be a chef/
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