The ever-changing Dorito

In recent years it seems like there is always a new flavor of gum, new candy bar or new flavor snack. I don't remember there being new flavors of snacks or candy all the time when I was a kid. The flavors were more or less set. There was minty gum OR fruity gum, not minty AND fruity. Orange, white, light green, green and red were the tic tac flavors that I remember from when I was a kid through college. Similarly, the only potato chip flavors I knew of were plain, BBQ, sour cream & onion, salt & vinegar, and garlic & onion. Plain M&Ms and peanut. Regular Doritos and the blue bag. BUT, that is not the case anymore. Every time I go into a grocery store or deli there are always plenty of displays of "NEW" flavored junk food. Now this is not a case of "when I was a kid blah blah blah." I know new flavors of things came out before I was a kid, while I was a kid and before I started noticing the trend of "NEW" junk food. New flavors and types of junk food just seem to be out there more and advertised as new a lot more than I remember.

I really like trying new things, so this is a good thing, but also a bad thing because I am shamelessly wooed into buying candy bars and chips that I wouldn't otherwise purchase (or eat). Ryan is even worse. I think he "needs" to try the new flavors more than me and needless to say, we encourage each other to buy and try new foods. I can't explain the feeling because it is not like I am looking for a new candy bar to love, and I don't even really like Doritos, but I am compelled to try the ever-changing new flavors.


What a brilliant tactic by these companies! Not only do they excite their already loyal consumers of their products and catch the eyes of children and adults with flashy displays, they lure new consumers to try their new products. Frito-Lay was never going to have me as a consumer of Doritos, but I don't know how many bags of new flavors I've purchased. I don't make a habit of buying candy in general, but do you even know how many disgusting new flavors of M&Ms (coconut and raspberry were especially bad) I've tried? I have never liked Milky Ways, but guess what? I tried the Milky Way Dark, which is really dumb of me because I don't like nougat and all they did was swap out milk chocolate for dark chocolate. I hated it just as much because the same nougat which made me hate the original was in the NEW dark version. I can't help it though.

Doritos seem to be utilizing this always new tactic quite a bit, and they have been for a long time actually. Remember 3D Doritos? I actually liked those. Anyway, there is always a new flavor Dorito. There were the duo flavor bags, Dorito Collisions: Hot Wings/Blue Cheese, Zesty Taco/Chipotle Ranch, Habanero/Guacamole, Cheesy Enchilada/Sour Cream, and Pizza Cravers/Ranch.  Then there were Taco Bell and Pizza Hut flavors. And yes, I am using Wikipedia right now. Then there was the mystery flavor bags, and those were the most disgusting flavor...cheeseburger.  I guessed that correctly, but yuck they were gross! The next year they did another mystery flavor, which I never had... it was Mountain Dew. (Dammit! I want to try them even though I know I'll hate them.) Then they released Late Night Flavors like jalepeno poppers. There have also been lots of other flavors beyond the originals like Spicy Nacho, Guacamole, White Nacho Cheese, and the weirdest of them all, Spicy Sweet Chili, in the purple bag. They taste like you are eating a flavor packet from ramen.

And finally, the most recent Dorito flavors, the burn series.  1st Degree Burn: Blazin' Jalapeno, 2nd Degree Burn: Fiery Buffalo and 3rd Degree Burn: Scorchin' Habenero. The most interesting thing about these new flavors is that they have a special pepsi paired with them, Pepsi Max Cease Fire, which is supposed to cool your mouth after you eat the burning hot Doritos. I tried these, of course, except I haven't been able to find 3rd degree burn anywhere. But, I tried the 1st and 2nd degree burn with the soda, and they are kind of good and bad. The chips taste alright, but they are pretty hot. Amazingly, the Pepsi really does cool your mouth. It is lime flavored and tastes alright, but I don't really like Pepsi or really drink soda very often, so I didn't think it was that great, but it works. I guess if you really really liked the flavor of the chips, you would like the combo. I kind of hope it works on any sort of hot, and I don't see why it wouldn't. There are plenty of things I like the taste of but am limited by how much heat I can take. I've had watery eyes and a runny nose while eating my favorite Indian and Thai curries countless times. I'm thinking now that maybe I should keep a bottle of this soda on hand just in case I add too much Sriracha to my food. At the end of the day, I've come back to the same conclusion as I always knew: I don't really like Doritos of any flavor.

Every now and then I discover something I really like from trying endless new products (Take 5 bar anyone?), but mostly I try things once and then never again. It seems that candy and snacks are the things to most often come out with new flavors, and as I age (ugh!) I buy and eat less junk food (or at least try to). I kind of hope this new flavor trend in junk food ends soon, and it will be that much easier for me to avoid junk food... or at least waste the calories on junk I KNOW I like.